One of the first books that I really have felt the urge to review is the book that was written by Dr Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey.
What Happened to you: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
This book was one that I was waiting to be produced, for a number of reasons. This book is an amazing way to look at trauma as something that happens to a person rather than as something that makes a person.
The book is written as an interview between the two authors and it is done in language that is easy to understand and absorb. They are honest and at times, brutally so. You learn about the key events that Oprah remembers from her childhood and how that has changed and helped her grow over the years. Dr Perry talks about his own development through the lens of his vicarious experiences with his clients over the years.
There is a point in reading this that I found myself wondering why they were talking and what was the point. As soon as I had that thought, I was met with a new chapter explaining the exact reason why they were having this conversation; they had enough of the narrative of blame and shame for people who have had traumatic upbringings. They were fed up with the idea that people were being judged and treated differently because their childhood did not fit the accepted narrative of a traditional childhood or early life.
As you read this book, one thing that I hope you get from it is that trauma is something that happens to you and not because of you. And, it does not make you who you are. The reason I say this a second time is because it is important for you to remember that things happen. This book will hopefully give you language to have a conversation with friends and family that you trust and love. A conversation about that topic in your head that you might not want to sit alone with anymore.
Aside from the experiences of trauma, this book is also about resilience. One thing about Dr Perry is that he sees some of the worst cases of neglect and abuse to children and he sits with them and helps them regain development of their brains. He does this and he is amazing at it. How he does this is that he believes in the possibility of resilience and repair. He believes that there is good and there can be change and that is evident in this book just like his others.
Oprah also speaks of growth and determination. She talks about healing and impact as the person gets older. She reflects on her own life as having its own trauma and also having opportunities within those traumas that she has only recently been able to begin to process.
This book is an entry point for exploration into trauma, resiliency, and healing. There are moments that bring tears and others that will elicit a small audible chuckle. I would recommend reading this book if you are wondering whether or not to delve into your own trauma; it will motivate you. This book is also good for someone who wants to understand the impact of events on a person so that they can judge less harshly. I would also recommend this book for someone who works with people who have experienced trauma.
I would not recommend this book for people younger than high school aged. There are topics in it that might be too difficult for them to understand. This would be a good book to read as part of a book group actually because there is a lot to digest and discuss.
On a difficulty level, it is not too hard to read. The language is very conversational and there is limited clinical jargon used other than when Dr Perry describes brain development and even then, he does very well at explaining it in a non-clinical level.
There is also an audio version of this available of Youtube if you are more of a listener than a reader.
I loved this book. I will be reading it again. Definitely worth the read!
Let me know if you have read it and what were your take aways!
Keep Reading!!!!
Ivy